As a Coach, I believe in possibility. I believe in it for me. I believe in it for all. I believe people can learn and change and that it doesn’t require time.

Alignment can happen quickly or slowly. It can happen with things big or small. It can happen with what matters to me that has no value to Other (you.) For this reason, I don’t receive awareness, no matter how seemingly repetitive, as a reflection of something we aren’t fulfilling. I do not, with myself or Others, perceive its recurrence as an indication of something we aren’t doing “right”. I don’t even believe it is something we aren’t Being or are Being wrong.

I receive it as something we are invited to for additional learning; as an indication of whatever is recurring; as something we need more time with and at our own pace, to ingest anew, and as something reflective of how we create space to be with the mysteries of Self.

The fear of being “too individual”, that one is accused of narcissism and humanistic despondency, allows us to hide. It permits us to deny truths. It promotes safe thinking, not critically thinking about who we are, what we know to be true about us, what we need to be responsible for, and how to trust those truths in a way that supports us being the heartfelt, well-intentioned, empathetic beings we are. 

I've learned that self-love and self-validation don’t create narcissists or monsters. They create conscious beings willing to know themselves well enough to also know where they need unbiased accountability. It creates self-responsible, loving people, bravely willing to stand for the greater good of doing no harm, but taking no shit.

The One (internal voice, inner guru, divine guide, intuition, etc.) is You. It is you at your most pure. It directs us like a compass and knows who we are and precisely what is best for us and what’s not.

It (intuition, etc.) doesn’t mean that the voice's directive will always produce a favorable outcome. But it will at least produce one congruent to who we are. Our karma. And, the larger dharma of our life that makes our human experience a lesson that we will always find the dignity within and fruitfulness to discover to keep living.

PRESENCE. Assessing the 'what is so' versus the 'what is true' of your IS-ness requires learning to listen intuitively, soundly, and with love; to hear the difference between what doesn't feel like You, and being fully within what does and what is.

Invite yourself to practice with presence. Witness how you are rather than how you want to be or feel you ought to be. What is the difference?

When we feel safe with Self, we feel free to exercise it in energy (aka thought, feeling, action, spirit, community, etc.). We feel supported to establish a sense of self-trust that declares we take ourselves seriously. And, when we do (take Self seriously), we feel secure to not only trust Self, but also trust who Self will be when being visible or exposing our truths, and sharing them to and with Others. It allows us to express needs (safely; soundly; completely) and make it (execution of) an ongoing practice we look for, declare and will continue to create space for in life.

Frustration happens when we are not giving ourselves the space to Be.  It happens when we don’t feel allowed or validated within ourselves to be true in our human experience and therefore, can be identified only after we express it by lashing out at other people, or by showing up to reality before we’re ready for the sake of optics, or by seeking validation for our truths from anyone outside of ourselves. It is the result of feeling disallowed to take up space honestly. And, out of fear, that what we take-up for Self is in the wrong way, at the wrong time, or in a way that is too much, too long, or unsavory.

The best we can do is learn the sound of what is hearing our truth. We can learn to hear what it means. We can understand how to love it about us, & in doing so, make the best choices day by day, moment by moment, intricacy by intricacy, to healthily, wholly, every day, try to find ways to best honor & support us. What I’ve noticed in grieving my Father is that being alone to hear my heart, process thoughts, & feel into my body energy is not only cathartic for me. It’s extremely necessary, safe, & what I need. Solitude has been healing.

Because we are nonlinear, and ever-evolving beings, needs are neither consistent nor static, and do not require symmetry, congruence, reliability or relatability to be true. Rather, they only require truth of being, for from moment to moment we are neither the same as we once were one year ago anymore than we were one second ago. The truth of our lives is not that we become someone who is knowable, likable, or even one who operates according to consistency, but that we allow ourselves from moment to moment to be nobody but who we truthfully are, and in knowing that to be so, is being a true reflection of a Universe that is entirely based on mystery, answerless questions, and instability with stability.

As a trauma survivor, focusing on myself has probably been the hardest skill set to develop. I understand if self-devotion feels intimidating, but can that awareness be the both/and that allows it to be inviting, too?

Oh, Dragon, Thank You for Teaching Me that I Am Not Something to Fear.

I will awaken to my gratitude & recognize it with jubilation!

It all started when I never wanted to go to college - but my parents made me. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.) I even went so far as to intentionally apply late to college and to all small, private, schools, too. I thought I had the system all figured out.

It is trusting in yourself and leveraging your abilities to live the life YOU WANT.

Remember that moment in Friends when Ross tells Phoebe she has to ride her bike to fulfill its riding destiny? Your desires are not by accident and have a purposeful fulfillment.

It is as indispensable to Be Here Now as it is to go back. Not to live in the past, but to return for what got left there. That which remains open-ended, poking you for reflection, asking you to revisit as who you are now but with the awareness in which you left it.