A SELF-LOVE AFFAIR WITH EMBODYING AN HONEST PRESENCE

As a Coach, I believe in possibility. I believe in it for me. I believe in it for all. I believe people can learn and change and that it doesn’t require time. 

I believe that wisdom, healing, presence, nor progress occur on time. That is, I don’t see time as contingent on their probability or potency. Yet, I do see time as a vital ingredient to the individual’s process to progress. I believe alignment occurs with allowance. I believe it occurs through embodiment and individuation. And, I believe it happens on an individual timeline.

Alignment can happen quickly or slowly. It can happen with things big or small. It can happen with what matters to me that has no value to Other (you.) For this reason, I don’t receive awareness, no matter how seemingly repetitive, as a reflection of something we aren’t fulfilling. I do not, with myself or Others, perceive its recurrence as an indication of something we aren’t doing right. I don’t even believe it is something we aren’t Being or are Being wrong. 

I receive it as something we are invited to for additional learning; as an indication of whatever is recurring; as something we need more time with and at our own pace, to ingest anew, and as something reflective of how we create space to be with the mysteries of Self. 

I receive moments where we are faced with what feels like the same “issue”, “problem” or contemplation, but in a new outfit or in a new scene, as progress in and of itself. Its resurfacing, and noticing it, is progress. Its return during a new point in life indicates that we’ve progressed to a new level where its lesson is applicable here, too. It is something divinely determined we need. 

Therefore, when we get to have an additional experience with anything, in the extra room within which we together occupy it, it is an opportunity to Be with Self curiously; it’s an opportunity to Be with and respect a ‘thing's’ dignity; it’s an opportunity to Be with Self & life’s mystery — not only from a new point in time but from a new perspective and a new presence, so as to heed its wisdom from a new human awareness and space.

In today’s culture, stillness goes by many names. Laziness; sure. Weakness; yes. But, one that I don’t often hear it referred to as is progress.

When I got to the “end” of what I had previously decided would be a self-led pilgrimage into containment with healing and grief processing of my Father's untimely death, I realized that I needed more time. I wasn’t finished. I needed more Me, without interruption, in this new presence. 

I needed more of the new Me in this new present awareness of a life without my Father. I needed it without taking on additional projects or extra energies. I needed to progress in the space of enough is enough, with a new Me, in a new life without my Father, without reasons, with intuition, and in stillness. 

When I was met with many internal criticisms about depression, perception, and professionalism around intuiting my need for stillness, I knew that there was room for additional learning around enoughness at this stage in my life. When I found my self-critical thinking to be less than loving, safe, and secure, I knew there was something in it for me to welcome into awareness. I knew there was a need to assess what newness it was offering for integration.

What I found was that the stillness was inviting me to be with myself in a way that I hadn’t before. To be with myself in an energy of trust and allowance for the mystery it would unveil. To be with myself in a way that suggested I surrender to the tug to do so and learn to become one with the idea that stillness is not only a surrender to the presence of what is, it is also a presence to the fruitful vitality of its nothingness, within which creates space for noticing the liminal space that welcomes excavation for planting what will become.

To many, stillness is a somber act that encourages alienation, isolation, and a cease to progress. In reckoning with its relationship to enoughness, I could see myself within it as a cathartic and healing foundation for which I can become naked to the truths of my experiences, feelings, fears, regrets, and griefs. 

To embrace the space of not only who I was before it (my Dad’s passing) all happened, but to who I astoundingly was during it, and in the wake of, in the fall-out of what has revealed itself as a new normal, who I am now, and who I now desire to be. And in the stillness, the presence, the centering of my own time, pace, and space, who I get to choose to progress into and allow Self to become; whole.

May the just cause you seek be that which you deem.

May it come without explanation or reason.

May it exist solely because you soulfully need it.

With Blessings,