FUN POLICE HYPOCRISY
Policing overt glee, its acknowledgment, or how it’s named, is pain personified. It’s projective & narcissistic behavior. And, it is a form of known or unknown gaslighting.
When I see another embrace their happiness, IF it triggers negativity, it’s my 1st cue to get curious about whether or not I need to check for hypocrisy. You know, the indulgence of behaviors that condone do as I say, but not as I do. And, holding others to standards that I, myself, wouldn’t want to be held.
Noticing hypocrisy for honest expression, I explore the following:
Am I hating-on someone’s happy?
Why would I want to maim a shine?
What in their honesty is a trigger for me; what in it do I covet?
Where is honest expression stifled in me causing negative reactivity over embracing the opportunity to recharge in energy that is celebratory?
Knowing I never want to experience deflation or authenticity-shame, hypocrisy is a tool I use to check the ‘golden rule’ philosophy with which I aim to align my humanity. It calls for recognition of where I am & I am not giving the benefit of the doubt. It challenges me to notice where I might be operating unfairly in treatment unequal to the way I’d want to be treated. It allows noticing where I could be operating from wounding that is fueled by bitterness, resentment, or rejection.
Identifying joy as permission to defile agency is killjoy behavior. It’s being a grinch. It’s finding pleasure in spoiling happiness or maligning your/others intent for its expression.
It’s a signal there’s a deep craving for safety in joy & uninhibited presence.
It’s a cry to claim belonging, freely.
It’s a longing to hear, “Your wholeness is lovable, always was & will be.”
It’s recognition that there might be room to reconcile what within (you) finds it intolerable to witness uninhibited expression of humanity (in another), because you, yourself, find such behavior unsafe, inaccessible, or challenging.
None of us are foreign to shame, jealousy & envy.
Each of us has had to face moments where our own behavior feels a bit crunchy or admittedly, ‘not cute’.
Each of us has dealt with an immense desire to ‘win’ while facing ‘failing’.
We’ve each experienced moments where others active, liberated joy can create a sting that feels like salt in the wounds of our hardship, acrimony, & deep craving to be freely happy, too.
Everyone has the opportunity to reflect on how engagement frames humanity & our participation in it.
All of us get to decide if who we are & want to be is someone that advocates for liberated living, or as a killjoy to the free expression of Self, which in turn projects hypocrisy & ‘fun policing’ onto humanity.
When it comes to checking for hypocrisy, & killjoy behaviors, remember to be gentle with your noticing.
Remember you’re peering into oddities that may be unfamiliar to you, behaviors that have likely been oblivious to what spurs their happening, as well as behaviors that have been internally judged & related to as unsafe, which is likely why you’re reactive to them.
Remember that you’re not a victim to your awarenesses any more than you are a vicious human who doesn’t like the fun in celebration. Of course, you like Fun! IT’S FUN!
Remember being accountable doesn’t require being alienated for it or slinking away in shame of whatever accountability reveals. Active noticing is the quickest way to change & disrupt a pattern.
Remember you wouldn’t be investigating why happiness or its expression is triggering if you weren’t needing something from it. You wouldn’t be spending time on it if you weren’t interested in learning from it & possibly, changing that relationship. Understanding hypocrisies & oddities, why it is & what drives it, is what learning how to spot them is for, so you can lean into the subtle urge to notice where you’re negatively critical with it, to engage it differently & to be about it differently within YOU.
We get to be loving AND transparent with ourselves in both asking & answering questions about our cringy, hypocritical behaviors.
We get to remember to bring love into the conversation when learning to investigate whether who we’re being is or isn’t congruent with what we intend.
We get to bring fluidity to accountability by responsibly discerning if our actions & reactions align, to know we can change them & who we are about ANYTHING at ANY TIME.
We get to allow Self to learn how to be constructively curious about what we detest in Others, to notice if the shoe was on the other foot, would it feel cool to have someone judge us for it, too?
We get to assess if we truly do loathe expressive celebrations or if our reactions are because we secretly want to do it too but feel we can’t.
be mindful of tearing something down in order to build something up.
Be mindful of what you vilify for self-validation. Be conscious about projecting disdain onto Others for behaviors you secretly wish you could engage in. Notice where contempt for joy is really FOMO for a liberated audacity to embrace its limitless freedom. Recognize where judgments are reflections of something we crave, but because we are out of practice with it, it is unfamiliar, or we have been raised to reject its aliveness in Us, instead of seizing it, we have made its appearance intolerable & thus, deemed it unaccepted.
Are you reacting negatively because you envy joy?
Are you projecting resentment for feeling alienated from your own exuberance?
Are you a cheerleader for authentic expression or are you its fair-weather fan?⭕️
Remember. You are Love. So be good to yourself for fucks sake.💋
With Blessings,
