THE MIDDLE CAN BE A REAL BITCH
They say you have to experience something you don’t like to understand what you do (like). I find immense value in this sentiment. Mostly, because I’ve learned a lot through the trial & error of trying something to discover whether it IS or ISN’T for me. The sticky wicket of this type of testing is that often when we’re in the midst of trying something, we can’t always just dump it & move on.
There are times when we have to stick with it. Complete a process. And, THEN & ONLY THEN, can we reflect over it to declare, I DO NOT LIKE THAT.
For these reasons, it’s worth honestly noting & admitting the middle can be a real bitch.
The middle of living somewhere you don’t like, but can’t move from.
The middle of an undeterminable recovery.
The middle of a job you hate but need.
The middle of unforeseeable growth/change.
The middle of traffic - FaaaUhhhCK.
The middle of a frigid winter.
The middle of a hellacious summer.
The middle of a dissolving marriage or floundering attachments.
In the middle, shit gets real.
It’s where we typically decide if we can go forward or not, & if we have to, it’s where we dig deep to find the will to trek onward. It’s where our determination & integrity are tested. It’s where experience calls us to find appreciation for the engagement or activity, not solely its fruits or outcome.
“You have the right to work, but for the work's sake only. You have no right to the fruits of work. Desire for the fruits of work must never be your motive in working. Never give way to laziness, either. Work (living) done with anxiety about results is far inferior to work (living) done without such anxiety, in the calm of self-surrender. They who work selfishly for results are miserable.”
― Bhagavad Gita
Appreciation for the middle isn’t suggesting that you have to like or enjoy the scenario you’re in. It’s an appreciation for the process you’re exposed to, & not only the things you’re learning from it (the experience, interaction, etc.). But also, while in limbo, what you learn about life, who you are in trial & error, & what it reveals about YOU.
Appreciations like, while you don’t favor where you live, you do have housing.
Appreciation that recovery is an option.
Appreciation that you have a job & aren’t destitute.
Appreciation that things can change.
Appreciation that you have transportation.
Appreciation for a working furnace.
Appreciation for a working A/C.
Appreciation for relationships & the experience of intimacy.
You don’t have to like something to appreciate it. This is the practice of becoming tempered.
It’s owning that your reactions are real, but you don’t have to remain stuck in them.
Your purpose is to remain calm, no matter the circumstance because that is where the most conscious choices are made. It’s honing the capacity to maintain composure.
This is the goal & the pinnacle purpose of practice with an activated presence.
Presence is the art of becoming
‘unfuckable with’
in devotional pursuit of one’s purpose.
Presence is a purpose to stabilize our peace & not give away our power to disrupt it.
When we operate from a stable & conscious presence, we’re not only more likely to execute thoughtfully & precisely. We’re also more likely to respond better & effectively to all scenarios, even the undesirable ones.
We’re able to hold an appreciation for a process, even though we may not like it, knowing who we are in any circumstance is what moves us, & our purpose, forward.
If you’re going through it right now, I hope you give yourself some credit for where you’re at in the middle of a process you do not like. Even though it may be a miserable experience. You. Are. Still. Here. Trying. If you can appreciate nothing else about whatever you’re amidst, I hope you pause to acknowledge you haven’t given up on your purpose, because you haven’t given up on yourself.
If interested, here are some intentionally, powerfully probing questions to assess who you are in the devotional pursuit of your purpose.
How often do you appreciate the process in general?
What is your experience in the middle of a process you dislike?
How does your baseline presence shift when in unsavory circumstances?
How composed are you when things don’t go to plan? How easily do you ‘fly off the handle’, spin out, or catastrophize in undesirable scenarios?
If you were to assess your stability, what would your displeasure response reveal?
What is your current propensity to see things from all sides?
When making decisions, how do you consider their impact on your larger purpose?
On a scale of 1-5, currently, how ‘unfuckable with’ are you?
Be good to yourself. 💋
With Blessings,
